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In the Jerusalem Talmud, Kiddushin we learn that God will hold us accountable for the permitted pleasures of this world in which we did not take part. The young women wore borrowed dresses so all of them would have access to dresses and none would be disadvantaged because of his or her economic situation. It has to be possible to feel and claim passion while also holding a space for pain. Our bigggest hurts and breaches happened in relationships — and it is through relationships that they can also be repaired. In order to access my own pleasure I need to be willing to be present with what is arising for me, but I also need to let go and resist the urge to allow myself to go through what feels like a tunnel of not-knowing. Where once there was only hurt, we can have corrective experiences around our vulnerability that allow us to access pleasure and joy in sexuality.

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Audrey. Age: 24.
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This resistance is what I am fighting against.

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Esperanza. Age: 26.
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But what I am noticing is something about my own resistance to owning and being seen in relationship with pleasure. Building trust is vital and in my experience takes a lot of time, like ten, twenty years and still building. For the past twenty years I have been on a journey of repair and transformation including sexual healing.

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