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Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? Get our newsletter Subscribe. I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock. Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn't work.

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In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. And where did he get those fantastic boots? It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty.

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